Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!yale!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!shelby!csli!cphoenix From: cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU (Chris Phoenix) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Me. Message-ID: <12842@csli.Stanford.EDU> Date: 26 Mar 90 21:01:45 GMT References: <14499@reed.UUCP> Sender: cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU (Chris Phoenix) Reply-To: cphoenix@csli.stanford.edu (Chris Phoenix) Organization: Center for the Study of Language and Information, Stanford U. Lines: 52 In article <14499@reed.UUCP> thalen@reed.UUCP (Thalen, the Mundane Mage) writes: >The optimism does help, in a lot of ways. I mean, have you ever met one of >those unbelieveably conceited people, who succeed at anything they do? It's >all in the outlook, and it happens to me that way sometimes. I don't know if >I would trade those impossible things I have done, and will do, for a >"normally" S.A.D. winter. Do such people always have to be conceited? I don't think I'm conceited, but I would class myself as someone who succeeds at most things I try. I've done some pretty "impossible" things, but most people don't know about them--because I don't tell them. Most of my friends don't know my age or my GRE scores, for example. There's two reasons for that. One is that I've learned very well how to hide whatever parts of me are exceptional, and though I have fewer things to hide at Stanford than in rural New York, I still do it to some extent. The other is that I really don't care about my accomplishments that much. I don't feel like they say anything about *me*, and I don't feel any need to improve other people's image of me that way. So, I don't talk about them. I know someone else who is incredibly lucky. She has had bags stolen in the airport, and gotten them back *intact*. She bought a multi-thousand-dollar guitar cheaply from a piano store because they didn't know what it was. She has an aura of incredible elegance and self-confidence--but she's not at all conceited. I've always had to deal with the image of "brain", which usually implies that I know how smart I am and that I look down on everyone else for being stupid. In a lot of cases, people who are smart are simply too "nerdy" to know that they "should" try to hide it, and when they're simply talking about themselves everyone thinks they're boasting. When I'm explaining why I chose to leave high school a year early, I try to avoid sounding like I did it because I was just too brilliant for them, but I can still hear people thinking that. My favorite cartoon is a Doonesbury, with mom, dad, and 5-year-old son: Son: I'm sorry, mommy. Mom: Don't be silly, honey. There's nothing to be sorry about. Mom and dad will always be proud of you. Dad: Um... this isn't about the achievement test by any chance, is it? Mom: Don't ask. Dad: Don't ask? Hello? I'm the father! Mom: I knew this would happen. It's just insane that they test 5-year-olds! Son: I'm sorry, mommy. Dad: For God's sake, what happened? Mom: He's gifted. Son: I'm not, daddy! I faked it! Please don't send me to nerd school! Please keep in mind, the next time you see a nerd or a brain or someone who's really successfull without even trying, they might not be conceited at all-- just not good enough at hiding it. -- Chris Phoenix | "I've spent the last nine years structuring my cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU | life so that this couldn't happen." ...And I only kiss your shadow, I cannot see your hand, you're a stranger now unto me, lost in the dangling conversation, and the superficial sighs... Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!apple!arc!steve From: steve@arc.UUCP (Steve Savitzky) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Did we hear piping? Message-ID: <870@hpuppy.Advansoft.COM> Date: 26 Mar 90 07:46:45 GMT Sender: news@Advansoft.COM Distribution: alt Organization: Advansoft Research Corp, Santa Clara, CA Lines: 39 At the sound of the bagpipes, the large reddish-brown pussycat leaves the neighborhood of the Cynic, where she has been joyfully batting at kooshballs, and streaks over to the bar, where she turns into Colleen and orders an unblended Scotch (leaving the brand up to Mike, whom she trusts to find something suitably obscure.) Before she heads up to the roof, she turns and says, "Hey, I just wanted to thank all of you who showed up at our party on the 17th! It was great meeting you all. Robin, sorry to hear you and Stanzi won't be in our area much longer; see you on the net maybe?" She then rushes up to the roof (with more grace than women her size are usually given credit for) to hear the piping; she will be found hours later, in cat form again, curled around her empty glass fast asleep. The medium-sized teddybear arrives near one end of the bar with a soft "pop!" It looks as though someone has spent the last few days stuffing cotton into its head through the nose with a blunt instrument. It transforms shakily into Steve; from his runny nose and bleary eyes one can tell that he probably feels about the way the bear looked. He lays a five on the table. "Hi, Mike. I'm here to try the old English cold cure -- you know, hang a hat on the bedpost and drink gin until you see two hats. Think this'll do it?" "That and your car keys." "That's ok; I haven't been up for driving this weekend anyway. Colleen'll drive if she can tear herself away from the piping on the roof." He collects the first of his glasses of gin and walks slowly (his back hurts) to a table near the one at which a bemused-looking young woman has just seated herself. "Hi, Brandi. No, don't get any closer--you don't want to catch whatever it is I've got. I just wanted you to know that old Jake there isn't the only man around the Place with Rubens' taste in ladies, and make sure you were made to feel properly welcome." -- \ Steve Savitzky \ Grand Central Starport \ REAL hackers use an AXE! \ steve@arc.UUCP \ 343 Leigh Avenue \ #include \ arc!steve@apple.COM \ San Jose, CA 95128 \ h:408-294-6492 w:727-3357 \__________________________________________________________________________ Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!bat.cis.ohio-state.edu!james_e_gaynor From: james_e_gaynor@bat.cis.ohio-state.edu Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Noone claims it? Thanks... Message-ID: <78474@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu> Date: 27 Mar 90 03:08:46 GMT Sender: usenet_news@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu Reply-To: Taoist Distribution: alt Organization: Ohio State University Computer and Information Science Lines: 81 The Taoist's been standing there, just inside the door, for quite a while now. Battered rucksack on his shoulder, outstreched hand holding a fuzzy something. His last words spoken still echo in the air... "Does this belong to anyone?" But noone claims the warm fuzzy sphere. And the Taoist stands there, beginning to lose focus around the edges. Incoming patrons walk around him with an odd look, and Nick and Mike exchange the occasional curious shrug, but nothing happens. Then a light scratching arrives at the door. As Nick opens the door to take out the latest load of shattered glass, something rarely seen in Callahan's bounces through the door. A dog. A puppy to be more accurate. A white spitz, with bouncy demeanor and an active little tail. It goes right to the Taoist, followed by many eyes, not a few of them feline, and, after a glance at the Taoist, licks the ankles of his sockless feet. >SNAP< Almost audibly, the Taoist comes back into focus. He blinks twice, looks at the fuzzy something in his hand, smiles, then looks at the bouncy bunlde of white fur at his feet. "Elcid! What are you doing in here, girl?!?" His grin gets wider as as kneels down and Elcid jumps into his arms. Standing up, he puts the fuzzy on his shoulder and walks over to the bar. He places Elcid on the bar, and unloads his rucksack as well. Mike glances at Elcid questioningly "She's housebroken Mike. Honest," the Taoist says as he rummages in the rucksack. "Here it is!" He pulls out a white paper bag, and hands it to Mike. "I thought I was going to be here for a while, so I brought this..." Mike opens the bag, and the aroma of coffee beans wafts out. "It's my own blend," the Taoist smiles. "Could you keep a pot going for me? I've even got my grinder and cup in here somewhere..." Mike shakes his head and smiles. "I'll put it right on for you. You want anything in the meantime?" "Oh, yes!" The Taoist pulls two one dollar bills out, and slaps them on the bar. "Vodka and Sprite for me, Mike, and a bowl of milk for Elcid here. She's just a pup, y'know." The coffee in hand, Mike takes the ones in the other, and goes to the back of the bar. The Taoist looks around at the various faces, while Elcid sniffs at the bar. She looks questioningly at the Taoist and whines lightly. Absentmindedly, he reaches over to pick her up and set her on the floor, where she quickly bounces off to explore, and meet a pair of kittens she saw near the fireplace. "Brandi!" the Taoist exclaims, "fancy seeing you here! But then again, I haven't been in r.a.c. lately. Don't remember me? Remember the Proposal Wars? The Vampire? That used to be me. Hasn't in a while." The Taoist's face takes on an introspective look. "Maybe it'll stay that way. Depends on if someone brings him out again or not..." Mike returns with the Taoist's drink and the bowl for Elcid, placing a steaming mug of coffee next to it. "Thanks, Mike." Picking up Elcid's bowl of milk, he carries it to a corner near the fireplace, but far enough away that that the puppy will be out of danger from the numerous toasts. Elcid bounces over from where she'd been romping with one of the kittens, and begins to lap at the bowl. The kitten slowly comes over, and after a pause, begins to lightly drink from the milk. Elcid simply moves over to make more room for her new friend. The Taoist scratches Elcid's head for a moment, then returns to the bar. Taking the mug and the glass in hand, he moves to the famous white chalk line. The Taoist sets the mug on a nearby table, then downs the vodka and sprite in a few quick gulps. He pauses for a moment, and the patrons smile in anticipation. "Can you unify hun and p'o into one and not let them be divided? Can you concentrate on your breathing to reach harmony and become as an innocent babe? "Can you clean the dark mirror within yourself and let nothing remain there?" A light overhand toss, and the glass lands upright and whole in the fireplace. The Taoist smiles, and turns his back on the white chalk line, picking up his mug of coffee. He sits at a table among the friendly faces in Callahan's, far from any corner, and as he takes a sip from his steaming hug, the glass in the fireplace shatters. -=- | Jim Gaynor -- The Ohio State University IRCC -- gaynor@cis.ohio-state.edu | | "If one is right while the other is wrong, and the other is right while the | | one is wrong, then the best thing to do is to look beyond right and wrong."| | -Chuang Tsu, "Inner Chapters: The Equality of All Things"| Path: mit-eddie!mit-amt!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!armadillo.cis.ohio-state.edu!kent_a_jenkins From: kent_a_jenkins@armadillo.cis.ohio-state.edu Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: What, ANOTHER newbe? Summary: It's me! Keywords: new, pepsi, hello Message-ID: <78475@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu> Date: 27 Mar 90 03:10:20 GMT Sender: usenet_news@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu Reply-To: Thenomain Organization: Ohio State University Computer and Information Science Lines: 80 The door opens a little suddenly as a tall, somewhat thin figure stumbles in, panting as if completely exsasperated. Over his shoulder is something that, at first, appears to be an expensive, protable keyboard. The kind with all the funky gadgets attatched and a battery life of ten to twenty minutes, but another look shows that it's some sort of keyboard, the gadjets and one-line display still visible. The figure leans on the doorframe for a moment and looks up. He's a... almost a kid, some high-school, zit-faced teenager, but his hazel eyes, bleary from the run, show perhaps a greater age. He runs a thin hair and pushes a mess of light-brown bangs out of his face and weakly makes his way over to the bar. His clothes are simple. A jacket (perhaps some old WWII wool thing, dark olive and barely fitting his tall frame), jeans (oddly bleached in parts, a deep blue in others), and a white tee-shirt that says "Property of Ono-Sendi" and the logo. "Pepsi," he says in a raspy voice as he throws his weight on the counter. Quickly delivered, he drinks it quickly, raises it, and says in a clear, strong voice, "To Humor!" and tosses it at the fireplace, missing by a few inches and the glass shatters into a thousand sparkling stars. "Oops," he appologizes with a smirk and places a colorful bill on the bar. Swiveling around in the chair like a child in an icecream parlor, he looks around the bar for a moment, smiles and raises his arm to its full length. Hand waving in a fury, he smiles and yells, "Hi, Vamp!" Taoist, sitting at a table in one of the darker corners of the bar, with puppy at his heels and attractive woman across from him, looks up with a contemptious glare and makes a shooing motion with his hand. "'Scuse me, sir. New here?" The new man, still taking in much of the awe of the new place, snaps his jaw shut and turns to the person talking to him. "Hmm? Oh, yeah. Dredful experiance, too. Was just doing standard runs on the net when BAM! I was getting this tremendous feedback of propoganda mixed with Mr. Rogers. Jacked out as quick as you please, but I /had/ to go investigate where this came from. Suffice it to say, I just barely escaped alt.slack intact." The man turns back to the bar and orders another Pepsi. "W... What's your name, if it's not too much." "No, it isn't. Rather short, in fact, but I'd rather give you my other name. You know, security." "No need for security here at alt.callahans, sir." "Well, it's a part of the training, you see. Natural paranoia. Completely normal human behavior and, in fact, completely normal behavior at all. You don't right give your name to someone you've never met before, do you?" "Sure." The man shook his head and drank a little more Pepsi. "Never mind. The name's Thenomain." "And... uh, what do you do?" "A little this, a little that. Write, hack, sing, live, all services pending a charge, of course... unless they sound like fun." Thenomain looks around the bar, humming quietly to himself, fractals of old songs, peices of new, things not yet created. "My, oh my," he says in an astoished tone. "A lot of black here, isn't there?" "Popular color," the man replies. "Popular emotion. I see some color here and there. A bit of rainbow, some green, some blue, some red, but nothing really THERE." "Are you giving insult to --" "Nononono... Don't get me wrong, sir." Thenomain looks around with a little bit of pain in his eyes. "It's just that... they... oh, hell." Finishing off the Pepsi, Thenomain stands atop the barstool, keeping his ballance as best he can. In a loud voice, strong and sure and definately not of his young age, he shouts, "A toast! To life itself! To the pain and the joy, to the creatures which surround it, to ourselves and all whom we love and hate! For THIS is what it's all about!" With a quick flick of the wrist, he sends the glass flying, but the stool swings Thenomain the other way, setting him off ballance. His arms flail wildly as he eventually topples over, bouncing loudly off the bar and slipping to the floor. Lanky legs tangled in the barstool and a bowl of beer nuts in his lap, the nuts all over his personage, and several others as well. Brushing a hand to push the bangs out of his face, Thenomain looks up with a discouraged, and quite pissed look. "Doesn't mean I have to like it." -=- -- Thenomain -- Kent Jenkins -- Card-carrying zealot -- -- jenkins@osu-20.ircc.ohio-state.edu -- in the Order of the -- -- kent-j@cis.ohio-state.edu -- Fweeble. -- Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!uwm.edu!uwvax!sabertooth.cs.wisc.edu!lewandow From: lewandow@sabertooth.cs.wisc.edu (Gary Lewandowski (TA of Doom)) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Re-posting of some strange thoughts Message-ID: <10021@spool.cs.wisc.edu> Date: 27 Mar 90 03:52:16 GMT References: Sender: news@spool.cs.wisc.edu Organization: University of Wisconsin, Madison -- Computer Sciences Department Lines: 48 In article egly@HPLRED.HPL.HP.COM (Diana Egly) writes: >Is there a corner for me? Is there a corner *anywhere* for me? >Yesterday I was enormous. The walls moved out of my way as I passed by. ... >But that was yesterday. >Today I've shrunk so small that a spring breeze might carry me off. ... >Is there a corner that expands and shrinks to suit this Alice-in-wonderland >existance? Why have I never found one? ... > >In the midst of the pie fight a lone figure walks towards the door. >Actually shuffles more than walks, as if she'd aged a century over night. >And perhaps she has. When a pie hits her, she doesn't seem to notice. >It is, as Jilara said, cold and rainy out, but again she doesn't seem >to notice. The rain cleans the pie from her, but she shoes no signs of >caring, one way or the other. > >As she disappears into the dark she mumbles, "must keep callahan's fun. >mustn't let it get gloomy. lighten up. lighten up. gotta keep it light. >mustn't really *feel* anything." > >And she is gone. Gary observes Diana's near entrance and departure as he is ducking and throwing pies. (A good skill that one. Observers understand more than people think sometimes.) He edges toward her in time to hear her mumbled departure speech. As she disappears, he edges his way to the bar, places his dollar down, steps to the fireplace. The room is suddenly quiet, as the pie fighters stop to listen to the toast. "To Diana, who has helped many of us through rough times with her compassion. May she find the corner she seeks, and return to Callahans again some day. Perhaps those of us here can help her find that corner." I'm not sure I feel like throwing pies anymore today. -- gary lewandow@cs.wisc.edu "Knowledge is a fractal." -- Samuel Bates Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!bat.cis.ohio-state.edu!james_e_gaynor From: james_e_gaynor@bat.cis.ohio-state.edu Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: What, ANOTHER newbe? Keywords: new, pepsi, hello Message-ID: <78478@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu> Date: 27 Mar 90 05:00:34 GMT References: <78475@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu> Sender: usenet_news@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu Reply-To: Taoist Organization: Ohio State University Computer and Information Science Lines: 43 In article <78475@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu> Thenomain writes: > Swiveling around in the chair like a child in an icecream parlor, he looks >around the bar for a moment, smiles and raises his arm to its full length. >Hand waving in a fury, he smiles and yells, "Hi, Vamp!" > Taoist, sitting at a table in one of the darker corners of the bar, with >puppy at his heels and attractive woman across from him, looks up with a >contemptious glare and makes a shooing motion with his hand. The Taoist sighs, and turns to the young lady he was speaking to. "Now, Thenomain, he can bring out Vampire. But then again, that's just about all he's known me as. Makes a difference." He takes a sip from his coffe mug. > With a quick flick of the wrist, he sends the glass flying, but the stool >swings Thenomain the other way, setting him off ballance. His arms flail >wildly as he eventually topples over, bouncing loudly off the bar and >slipping to the floor. > Lanky legs tangled in the barstool and a bowl of beer nuts in his lap, >the nuts all over his personage, and several others as well. Taoist grins, and takes another sip of coffee. Elcid flounces over to the prone Thenomain and begins licking his face. Still grinning, Taoist excuses himself from his ladyfriend, who fades away as the Taoist strides to the bar. The Taoist pauses and looks back at the empty seat. It's difficult to hold a conversation with a figment of a friend's imagination in any case. Reaching the bar, the Taoist grabs a hand and hauls Thenomain to his feet. Thenomain brushes himself off, removing a few stray beer nuts from his pockets. "Didn't damage your deck, did you Thenomain?" asks Taoist. A look of shock and dismay crosses Thenomain's face, and he quickly lays the cherished deck on the bar and begins to examine it for damage taken during the fall. The Taoist chuckles, shakes his head, and wanders back to his table. The woman, however, only a figment of Thenomain's creation, doesn't reappear. Elcid is still wandering about the bar, snapping up the beer nuts scattered by Theno's fall before Nick and his broom clean them up... -=- | Jim Gaynor -- The Ohio State University IRCC -- gaynor@cis.ohio-state.edu | | "If one is right while the other is wrong, and the other is right while the | | one is wrong, then the best thing to do is to look beyond right and wrong."| | -Chuang Tsu, "Inner Chapters: The Equality of All Things"| Path: mit-eddie!bu.edu!mirror!necntc!ima!haddock!karl From: karl@haddock.ima.isc.com (Karl Heuer) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: One for the man behind the bar... Message-ID: <16293@haddock.ima.isc.com> Date: 26 Mar 90 21:57:24 GMT References: <13500@eagle.wesleyan.edu> Reply-To: karl@haddock.ima.isc.com (Karl Heuer) Organization: Interactive Systems, Cambridge, MA 02138-5302 Lines: 83 In article <13500@eagle.wesleyan.edu> rstepno@eagle.wesleyan.edu writes: >Wish I had more time to stay, but the smoke's bothering my eyes >and nose. Karl looks around. "Hmm, I hadn't noticed any smoke here, except for Mike's cigar. I don't count the fireplace." >[Smoking] killed both my parents... Karl starts fumbling through the papers in his backpack. "Ah, yes, I did indeed bring that one too." He stands up with a sad look on his face. "I had a dream the other night. There was a girl, maybe 8 or 9 years old; I'd just caught her snitching a cigarette from her Dad. So I sat down with her and told her how the cancer sticks had killed a couple of people that I loved very much." He wipes a tear from his eye as he remembers the story. "I hope I was able to convince her. Better yet, I hope she was able to convince her father. Maybe she was the girl in this song." While Karl has been talking, Jake has been looking over the music he handed him and experimentally strumming a few chords. "I let the n-tet perform the last one, but since our professional folk singer has his guitar here tonight, I'll give him the honor this time. This is from the same PHC show as the other: March 17, 1985. Garrison Keillor had been off the habit for about a month at the time he sang this." Jake stokes up his guitar and starts in. A father was leaving his home one night, When he heard his little child shout: "Oh Daddy, I've had a terrible dream, That you had a cigarette in your mouth! "Oh Daddy, don't go to that party tonight, For dreams have so often come true; My Daddy, my Daddy, please don't go and smoke, For I never could live without you!" He sat on the edge of the little girl's bed; She reached up and held him so tight; He said, "But, I quit smoking one month ago, So why would I have one tonight?" "Oh daddy, I dreamed that the party went late, And you had a highball or two, And a dear old friend said, 'care for a smoke?' And you said, 'don't mind if I do.' "Oh daddy, don't go to that party tonight, For dreams have so often come true; My daddy, my daddy, please don't go and smoke, I never could live without you!" He went to the party and joined with the crowd: He joined in their song and their fun, He joined them in drinks, and when they said, "You smoke?" He said, "Oh well, I guess, but just one." Jake lets Lady MacBeth go silent, and he delivers the next two verses spoken. With a hand that was trembling he reached for that smoke, "Do you have a light, too?" he said, The terrible flame drew close to his face, And he thought of his child in bed. "It's all right," he thought; "I just won't inhale." And it flamed up a bright lurid red. Then he coughed, and he gasped, and he clutched at his throat, And he fell on the floor, stone cold dead. He sings and plays the final refrain. To his surprise, people start clapping along with the rhythm. "Oh daddy, don't go to that party tonight, For dreams have so often come true; My daddy, my daddy, please don't go and smoke, I never could live without you!" "Y'know, I think that's the first time I've heard anybody clap along with a tear-jerker, where the main character dies right in front of you," says Jake, as he passes the hat. At least one of the glass objects hitting the fireplace is an ashtray. Mike looks thoughtfully at his cigar. --Karl Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!apple!uokmax!guest6 From: guest6@uokmax.uucp (Laura Holmbeck) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Yet another newcomer... ;^) Summary: Love, paradise lost and found and ? Message-ID: <1990Mar27.114657.21103@uokmax.uucp> Date: 27 Mar 90 11:46:57 GMT Distribution: usa Organization: Engineering Computer Network, University of Oklahoma, Norman, OK Lines: 116 Happy sounds fill the bar. Sounds of love, friendship, and friendly debate. The light is soft, diffused. Each wave of new arrivals bring with them welcoming cheers and add to the the broken glass on the floor. The sound of bagpipes waft lazily thru the open windows. Everywhere is the feeling of comfort and belonging. So naturally, nobody notices the small white cat with black markings that dashes in once when the door was opened. She agilely avoids contact with anyone and bounds for the safety of the shadows. She is trembling; even the red tip of her tail quivers. Crouching, her chocolate eyes scan the crowd. Suddenly her eyes lock, and she darts thru the maze of legs, tables and chairs. She slips and skids into the legs of SilverSinger. She notices Tabbi and respectfully nods to her. SilverSinger is startled but amused at the tiny feline. He places her on his lap. She shyly rubs against his chest. Looking up into his eyes, she mews plaintively. A grin crosses his face and he carries her to the bar. "A kaluha and cream please!", he orders. He brings both drink and cat back to the table. He sets the saucer down, sits, and replaces the cat upon his lap. She delicately laps at the liquid. SilverSinger starts to skritch her scruff of her neck, and she purrs loudly upon his touch. When finished, she trembles but sits back on her haunches. Suddenly she crouches, the shivering grows, and he transforms to a medium height female sitting on Silver's lap. She grins shyly and kisses his cheek lightly. Thanking him, she stands up and retrieves the saucer. She is dressed in an oversized white sweatshirt and black bike shorts. Aware now that the noise in the bar has died and all eyes are upon her, a blush covers her face, matching the glowing highlights in her auburn hair. "I hear that here is a place where comfort can be found, love is honored and all are welcome. My friends call my Tyg. I am a wanderer, and finally now one of my searches is over - I have finally found Callahans!" She smiles now - a small but infectious smile. "I know a few of you already, and soon I may meet you all I hope." "It seems all my searches may not be over. Perhaps I am fated to wander all my life, but for the moment, I halt and share my story here with you." She pauses and looks at the saucer... "It would seem what emotions I feel, I feel intensely. For my friends, I am fiercely loyal and protective; as for my true enemies as equally passionate, but not quite as benevolent. The one thing that has eluded me all these years has been Love. A few times I was mistaken when I thought I had met the One, only to get deeply hurt. Subsequently, I grew great barriers between myself and the world, complicated facades, and a jaded view of the world and love. I also grew to believe that I was flawed, that no one could ever, or would ever, WANT to truly Love me. After yet another failed relationship attempt a few months back, I threw up the final barrier, inwardly vowing never to be vunerable again. I felt great anger and dispair. I felt great distaste for myself." She is now scowling, lines deeply groove her forehead. "But then," she sighs and her face relaxes, "he came into my life." She timidly smiles, but at the corners of her mouth, a bit of sorrow lingers. "He had been always been in the background for quite some time, a mere casual acquaintance. Small talk: weather, school, employment. Our conversations were inoculous, relaxed, and sporadic. I never felt anger at him; he was always simply just there. Always there for me to talk to. He didn't mind what we talked about either. He was a constant in a world that was always shifting, changing. "We held no demands on each other, and slowly a friendship budded. Looking back, I NEEDED a friendship, needed to know that a relationship with a man needn't cause pain or stress. It could be open and honest." She now smiles openly, and stands straighter. "But mostly, he taught me in his own gentle way that I matter, that love is not to be feared. That I could learn to love myself again, and perhaps in time allow someone else to." A pause... "Once when I was feeling alone and depressed..." She pulls a slip of paper out of her pocket. "... He actually wrote ME a poem spontaneously. The most beautiful poem I've read. He did it for *me*..." She trails off now... A dreamy look in her eyes. "We met thru IRC; he lives many, many miles away from me. One day I impromptu-ly invited him to visit me. I had to meet the man who was making such an impact in my life. He agreed. "I won't ever forget the days we spent together. He was passionate, nurturing, and foremost - honest. The minute I looked into those eyes, those self-made barriers melted. He touched my heart like no one ever has or quite probably ever will... It was a week and a half that changed my life, and he did it without effort, and perhaps even knowing it. "I love him. He might even be the One." She smiles bittersweetly. "He knows how I feel, and he loves me too, but there are complications. I feel so irretrievably attracted to him - I cannot stop loving him. Nor do I want to stop." She sighs, "But I don't want to bring him pain - I only want him to be happy. And only he can, in the end, choose the resolution. "I have many friends who have supported me and given me the strength to follow my heart," she smiles in the direction of the unicorns' table. "True friendship and love endures!" She walks back to SilverSinger. "I wish you may someday find peace. You've done so much for me, so perhaps I can do a little for you... with your assistance of course!" She winks playfully at him. She places the saucer down on the table. Taking both of his hands in hers, she places his palms together. Still holding his hands, she concentrates. Suddenly he gives a start and slowly opens his palms. On his palms lies a sparkling silver, newborn fuzzy. "It's the least I can do for such a friend who has shared his spirit with me!" She hugs him close to her, careful not to disturb the fuzzy nestles in his hands. She retrieves the saucer and returns to the chalk line. Lifting the saucer she says, "As Browning once said, 'Sun-treader, life and light be thine forever!'" With that she send the the saucer sailing, then it watches it smash into a thousand glistening shards. She looks solemn for a moment, and for a second her eyes glimmer, but it passes and she slowly walks back to SilverSinger, the sheet of paper still firmly clutched in her hand. ---Tyg ------------------------------------------------------------------------- aka lholmbec@ub.d.umn.edu (...at non effugies meos iambos...) "Sweetest love, I do not go, For weariness of thee, Nor in hope the world can show A fitter love for me" - Donne Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!yale!cs.utexas.edu!samsung!uunet!zephyr.ens.tek.com!orca.wv.tek.com!pogo!andyd From: andyd@pogo.WV.TEK.COM (Andy Davidson) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Somehow, I wonder . . . Message-ID: <8767@pogo.WV.TEK.COM> Date: 27 Mar 90 06:52:11 GMT Reply-To: andyd@pogo.WV.TEK.COM (Andy Davidson) Distribution: na Organization: Tektronix, Inc., Wilsonville, OR. Lines: 25 Again, in fades Lyra, snake and all. This time, with a cat on her shoulder. She gets a 7-Up, for variety, and says, "Hi, everyone. I was amazed at the number of you who greeted me personally. A newcomer thanks you." "A number of things cross my mind to say right now, but one question first. Does anyone" staring fixedly at a large blue blob in her drink, then pulling it out and putting it next to the fire, "Know *why* warm fuzzies like to climb into drinks - in the process, becoming cold soggies? We seem to have an epidemic here." "Ah, well. To good luck and drinks that don't purr." <<*CRASH*>> This time, she didn't bother to finish what was left of the drink. But, it had warm-fuzzy hair in it, so what do you expect? She sits down, again at an empty table, looking wistfully around, with a drink that landed on the bar before her single did. This time, the snake settles down and she pets the cat - a solid black, if anyone cares. -- To other Mages: the prosperity of full power and good luck. To non-mages, | Shannalyralythia | well, there's always the *next* incarnation! | Using the account |*If you love something, let it go. If it comes back |_of_Andy_Davidson__|*to you, it's yours; if it doesn't, it never was. Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!yale!cs.utexas.edu!usc!samsung!uunet!zephyr.ens.tek.com!tektronix!reed!thalen From: thalen@reed.UUCP (Dr. Paradox) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Emotions (& other stuff) Summary: Hunh. Keywords: Anger. Message-ID: <14524@reed.UUCP> Date: 27 Mar 90 00:00:04 GMT References: <14511@reed.UUCP> <37346@mips.mips.COM> Reply-To: thalen@reed.UUCP (Dr. Paradox) Organization: Reed College, Portland OR Lines: 51 Thalen sits down, next to Steve, then gets up and looks around. "No," he says, "this might apply to more than just Steve. Having resolved for myself the question of my own anger, I am prepared to offer my own ideas on the subject." "First, my resolution: I have decided that I really don't feel anger, at least not in any normal sense, and I am not suppressing it. I came to this conclusion after a couple of people pointed out that depression and anger often have an inverse relationship." "Now, Steve, I am with you on the value of anger. True anger, at least to me, seems inherantly valueless. It can make people do things that they would NEVER do in calmer times. However, the facade of anger can be, well, terribly useful, if you will pardon the expression. There are certain times when it is the ONLY thing that is effective. And not only on irrational people. I'll give you an example." "A good friend of mine was having a bad day. This was obvious. She was moping about, sitting in corners staring at walls, and, most obviously, snapping at _everyone_. Finally, I found her when she was free, and sitting staring at the wall. I walked up to her and asked `Is something wrong?'" Thalen rests against his table, and stares aat the ceiling. "She turned around and yelled "NO! OF COURSE NOT! I'M JUST SITTING HERE IN THE CORNER CRYING FOR NO REASON AT ALL!" I said 'I'm sorry. I just wanted...' and she yelled 'Just FUCK OFF and LEAVE ME ALONE.' Now, I had two choices here. I could leave, or find some way to get through to her. I chose the latter." Thalen smiles a humorless smile. "I still remember the look on her face. She knew me long enough to know I didn't get angry. So it was quite surprising to her when I grabbed her shoulder and yelled 'SHUT UP, DAMMIT! I'm trying to HELP you, the LEAST you could do is BE POLITE!!!' And it got through, where I don't think anything else would have. A second later she was sobbing and apologising on my shoulder. And she hadn't known me that well before." "Anyway, I'm being longwinded again. All I'm trying to say is that there are times for anger, feigned or real, and it can help sometimes, almost as much as it can hurt." "Oh, and about cats, and saying that it is interesting that only two 'people' came in actual cat form. Well, take that with a grain o' salt, because I just find this form comfortable for speech, and I am going to be doing a lot of that here." Suddenly, Thalen dissappears. In his place is a very large grey cat. A little larger than a lynx, in fact, though smaller than a tiger. And then, {And, if you will excuse me? Hey, up there! Want some company?} Thalen/Greymarck bounds into the rafters. Then bounds back down. {Oh, yes, one more thing. I've been wanting to do this for a while.} Thalen fades into nothing, leaving only his smile behind, until that, too, fades. You see him fade back in next to the tiger, who appears to need a bit of consolation. Rest assured, he gets some. Thalen, the More-than-Mundane Mage {How do I buy you a drink, up here?}